So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
