I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
