so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
