u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
