PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
