He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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