Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I would fuck him just for his dog
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
