He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize