he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
