Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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