Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
