Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
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