im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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