so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
