i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
