She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
