saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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