Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
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He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
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Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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