and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
