I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
