That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
handjob tips. give me some.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Is Oprah even human
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
