How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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