i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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