I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
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you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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