possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm getting married
To pizza
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
