I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Randomize
