He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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