They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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