try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
