I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
