she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
