Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
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He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
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His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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