Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
