Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
