even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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