Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
