I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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