her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
