We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
