Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
