I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
so let's talk penis.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
