I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
