i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
