Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
