I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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