Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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