People in love make me want to vomit
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
