Is it normal to miss your booty call?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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