somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
