You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Terrible idea I love it
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
