i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
