did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
