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You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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