if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
