Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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