It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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