____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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