It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
