He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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