I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
