i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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